One day a few years ago I realised that this was it! This was my life and I had a choice. My choice was to let my circumstances define what my life looked like or to take control and do what I wanted despite the norm or my anxiety and stress.
I realised that if I do nothing then in 20 years time nothing will have happened and I would feel the same way I do now but with a whole lot of regret. For me it was about living and taking risks as a family to adventure and have fun together with the knowledge that yes my child may scream for 5 hours on that car ride but hey, it will be ok, we will get there and have fun!
Have you ever felt like you don’t like your life? Maybe it’s because your marriage relationship is not working or maybe it’s because the kid thing is really hard. You can read more about how I found the kid thing really hard here.
When I first had kids I felt quite trapped. I like things to be predictable and to feel in control of situations and then I had kids lol. Yeah that is not going to happen!
I was trapped by my own fears of what if my baby completely lost the plot publically or on an aeroplane and I could not settle them. For years I felt trapped by my own routines and management of my kids so it always went smoothly (which most of the time it did) but I was dying inside for some adventure. For a break from the norm.
I have gone through phases of feeling like I didn’t like my life and this is not what I thought I was signing up for when I got married and had kids. I can say this because I actually love my life and my family and am so grateful that I went down the family path but I have not always felt like that.
It has mostly just been moments not years where I felt like it was all too hard.
I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately after spending time chatting with a number of good friends in my life who are unhappy in their marriages or with how life is going for them at the moment. The thing is, I have been having these conversations with them for years.
I do think a lot. Too much even. I have been thinking about where I was and where I am now and how that happened.
For me it all comes down to action. I am a very action oriented person so when something is not what I want it to be I do something about it. That something is more than just talking or thinking.
Every day when I wake up for some reason my brain reminds me that this could be my last day. Not an awesome thought to have every day first thing in the morning but it does help me make good decisions. Mostly just to say YES and take the risk because what if??
4 years ago hubby and I decided to take our then 2 children aged 2 and 5 to Thailand for a holiday. Long haul flights and small children were on my list of things in life that will cause me the most anxiety haha. BUT we survived. It was ok. Hard word on the plane but OK.
This trip changed everything for me. It made me realise that mixing things up, changing the routine and doing the very thing that I thought would stress me out the most was not so bad after all.
I don’t know what that might be for you? Maybe it’s moving to the country or going on that road trip you have always talked about or calling your friend who you had a falling out with but desperately want to reconnect with.
All I know is this is it. This is your life. If you don’t do something about it it will happen without your input and you will look back in 20 years times and wonder what happened.
You have to make a plan. You have to think about what you really want. And then you have to action, fear and all, because if you don’t then what?
It’s not always easy and sometimes we want things we can’t have but you just do the best with what you have. There are always options and choices.
Hubby and I decided we would send our kids to a State School instead of a Private School and use the money we saved to take them overseas each year as a life education and some family adventure. You can read more about that here.
It’s up to you … it’s your call … it’s your life.
Written By School Mum
