“Of course I love my kids!” you’re probably thinking. Well yes, we all love our kids, some days more than others, and each of them in different ways and for different things.
Yet we can be so busy loving them, parenting them, driving them around, getting them ready for school, keeping them busy that we can often actually forget to tell them. And I don’t mean “I love you” as you kiss them goodnight to go to bed, which is also wonderful, I mean more of a sit down, look them in the eyes and tell them “Do you know that I love you?”.
“Our deepest desire is to be loved unconditionally. To be fully known for our gifts, strengths, failures and downfalls and yet loved anyway.”
Tell them they are loved not because of what they do or don’t do, but simply because they are your son or daughter. That your love for them is not based on their marks at school, what they look like or what they are good at, but that you love them no matter what. Even when they’ve been a complete ratbag tell them you love them, but that you don’t like their behaviour and you won’t put up with it. Particularly with girls, they need to know they are loved outside of how they look or dress, the world puts enough of that on them already. Is your love for your kids based on a set of boxes you want them to tick, or is it unconditional and do they know?
5 reasons to tell your kids “you love them”:
- It gives them someone to trust
- It tells them they are valuable
- It allows them to make mistakes
- It takes away fear
- It makes them part of something bigger than themselves.
Also tell them what you like about them. Often we are so busy correcting our kids behaviour and making sure they are doing the right thing we forget to tell them the things about them that are really cool. For example our 7 year old daughter sings all of the time and dances around the house like Mary Poppins on a triple dose of red cordial. Sometimes it can be a bit too much and we have to tell her to be quiet, however we tend to focus our praise on her creativity and tell her how much we like that part of who she is.
Kids need to know that they are loved with words, not just actions and that they are liked, especially by you, their parents, the most important people in their life.
