We call her Mystery Miss 6, our beautiful but hard to pin down middle daughter, and when I say pin down I mean connect with. While she is vastly different to our eldest daughter we are wondering whether it is her personality or her age which makes her so intriguingly unique from her sister.
It’s always good to know what the “normal” developmental milestones are so we understand what all children are going through at a certain age and then celebrate or allow for the ways our own kids are unique and different to others around them.
Understanding different age groups involves looking at developmental milestones. These milestones are usually grouped into five major areas: physical growth, cognitive development, emotional and social development, language development, and sensory and motor development. While reading this article remember that each child develops at his or her own pace.
Physical Growth
- 6 year olds are developing their first molars and are starting to lose their baby teeth.
- They have usually gained around 3kg and 6cm in height since their last birthday.
- They will have lots of energy and need time outdoors to burn it off.
- Physical exercise is beneficial for cognitive function.
- They are beginning to leave some of the baby chubb behind and are starting to look leaner like they will as adolescents.
- In terms of food they are developing their eating habits. Parents of 6-year-olds can set healthy habits and patterns in place such as choosing healthy foods, sitting down to dinner together as a family, and establishing good table manners — skills that will become important for children to have in the years to come.
Sensory and Motor Development
- Can control their major muscles. They usually have good balance and enjoy running, jumping, skipping, and other forms of physical play.
- Our 6 year old daughter will loves doing cartwheels and expressing her pride in the development and mastery of new physical skills.
- Can dress themselves, and they are developing the fine motor skills to do tasks like tricky buttons, tying shoe laces, and using scissors (but not for getting dressed!)
- Able to ride a bicycle without training wheels.
- Moving in time to the beat or music.
- Some kids can still be a bit uncoordinated and gawky depending on their body type. Our middle daughter has always been much more naturally coordinated and in control of her movements than our eldest.
- Developing skills to skip, catch and kick a ball.
Thinking and Reasoning (cognitive)
- Beginning to understand cause and effect.
- Grasping the concept of time, their neighbourhood, and other states and countries i.e. locating themselves geographically in the world around them.
- Understanding the difference between real and imaginary eg wanting to do real cooking instead of “playing” cooking.
- Expressing themselves more articulately through words rather than predominantly emotions.
- Can count to 10 and can represent 10 with counters or blocks etc.
- Shifts from learning through observation and experience, to learning through language and logic.
- Still doing sight words at school, but also moving towards phonetic sounds and spelling.
- Are able to describe their favourite things eg movie, book, activity
- Reading simple words
- Can spell and write their name and other simple words.
Emotional and Social Development
- Mostly playing with friends of the same gender.
- Focussed on themselves but start to consider the feelings of others with encouragement from parents and caregivers.
- Want their parents to play with them and in fact may crave their attention. Parents are their main source of affection and companionship. They also beginning however to have these needs fulfilled through others such as friends and other respected adult figures.
- Developing their sense of humour. Will come out with more jokes and rhymes picked up from school.
- Enjoy feeling like the big kid and looking after others who are younger.
- Becoming a lot more defined in their unique personality.
- Needs to win and may change the rules to suit themselves. They don’t like losing at this age.
- Friendships are unstable and they can be unkind to their peers and be on the receiving end also.
- For the first time they will be talking about having “best friends”. Also this may change periodically, maybe even weekly, and particularly with girls.
- Inflexibility with their thinking. It’s easier for them to categorise something as either good or bad. Parents job is to help them be more nuanced in their thinking, which they will develop as they get older.
- Growing in confidence but also becoming more insecure. As they venture into the world it can be unsettling but support this part of their life with more structure at home. Help them have the confidence to venture into the world by having a consistent and supportive base to return to in their home.
- Chores/ Housework: Helping with chores and participating in the maintenance of the household. Especially if they know why they have to do it. Our miss 6 is happy to unpack the dishwasher if she knows her sister is doing it also. Or she is happy to tidy her room if the rest of the family is doing it also.
- 6 year olds are torn between being big kids and little kids. They will want the freedom to do some of the same things as bigger kids but will still struggle with leaving the tantrums and whining behind them.
Tips for Parenting a 6-year-old
- Routine, Routine, Routine at home is what is important during this time. The world outside is theirs to explore and with that goes a level of insecurity. Having a solid home base allows them somewhere to return to that is safe, familiar and consistent.
- At 6, your child is curious, active, and becoming engrossed in school and new friendships.
- Provide consistent structure at home to also help your child adapt to the disciplined world of school.
- Give lots of opportunity for physical activity to help develop their skills.
- Make a point of attending your child’s school and sports events. It’s important for her to show off her accomplishments and mastery of new skills particularly to you her parents or caregivers.
- Be patient with their selfishness; it will pass (hopefully).
- Be generous with praise.
- Set and lead by example in healthy habits for eating and exercise.
