Families bring out the best and sometimes the worst in all of us. I’ve found that a few simple family sayings or mottos have helped shape the culture of how we interact.
A motto is just a short saying that everyone gets familiar with … and its power is that is can convey a lot of meaning in just a few words. Mottos remind us of our core values especially at times when emotions and behaviour seem to be getting in the way.
No-one can tell you what sayings will resonate with your family but its a great idea to be on the lookout for little phrases that you find yourself saying regularly. They will also no doubt change over time because little things that are important to toddlers will be less important as they grow obviously.
So what are ours and how do we use them?
Don’t Panic, Make a Plan
This one gets used a lot! Sometimes by parents, sometimes by the kids. Everyone knows what it means … its about the fact that we are always less likely to get a good result if someone is panicing or stressed out. Just being worried achieves nothing although it is ok to be worried. The important thing is to turn your energy to finding a solution or making the best of the situation.
If we are running late for a school event then clearly unless we are going to just not turn up, we just need to make a plan to arrive as early as possible. Its so obvious but in the situation, stress can actually slow us down and stop us working together. My simply saying out loud “Don’t panic, make a plan” it can be enough to re-focus individuals and us together as a family to make the best of the situation.
Its Only Stuff
We firmly believe that stuff is not as important as people …. but when things do get lost or broken it can be really easy to get angry. We might be so frustrated about the the careless loss of the 5th school hat, that we momentarily don’t treat the person (our child) in a way that is constructive. Yes they lost the thing and yes that costs money … we wish that they would be more careful and learn to look after our things … but getting to that goal requires coaching, not abuse.
The kids will say this to us too sometimes if we are ever getting stressed about providing things for them. We always try to value being together and experiences over getting things and consuming.
Keep Short Accounts
This one was passed down to me from my father and its becoming more useful as the kids get older. The basic idea is that when you have an account at a business for example, you can essentially spend up without paying for things but eventually you have to settle that account by paying the total.
In relationships we can be a bit the same. If you have a debt with someone because you have said something wrong, or had some sort of fight, then its like being in debt to each other … you need to talk, apologise and sort out the relationship. You might want to make something up to them … to get things right again.
The longer you let it go, the more likely that the account will never be settled and the next problem builds on the first. “Keep short accounts” means don’t let problems fester. Talk about them … apologise … make things right and do it quickly.
These are just 3 of the mottos or sayings that we regularly use in our house. What are yours? Can you share some helpful ideas in the comments below?
