Different parents are good at different things. No, really, you all have something we all wish we could have. Some of you will be good at afterschool outings like park play or bike rides, some of you will consistently read to your kids every night at bed time, some will be clever with lunch box ideas and some will have mastered NOT yelling (I’m still in practice on this one lol) But all of us it seems wishes at some stage we could communicate better with our kids. Maybe we’ve nailed it at age 6 but suddenly you have an 8 year old and they don’t share as easily anymore.
You’ve stopped asking yes or no questions but the daily “So, what was the BEST thing about school today?” now is being answered with “I don’t remember” or “play time.” Not quite the information you were after…And try having a new teen where secrets seem to be a new pastime. I get it, teens want freedom and they are exploring their new identities in different ways. Teens have questions that might be embarrassing or it’s simply not cool to talk to Mum or Dad about.
Here are a few questions that you might not have thought of to get the conversation going. And here’s a tip…let them ask you a question about your day. Make it a family game; you start “What is your earliest memory?” Then let them ask you a question. Here are some other ideas. Some may be relevant to your family and the age of your child and some may not but we hope they will help inspire some conversations where ever your child is at…
Question Ideas
1. What do you worry about the most?
2. Why do you think kids put rings in their eyebrows and noses and bellybuttons?
3. If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?
4. If you were invisible where would you go and what would you do?
5. Is there something I can do better that I am not doing now?
6. Tell each person in the family why you’re glad they’re part of the family.
7. What kind of parent will you be?
8. What three words do you think best describe our family?
9. What is your most favourite food in the whole world and why?
10.Do you think it’s a good idea for adopted kids to look up their birth parents? Why or why not?
11. What do you like about your Step Dad or Step Mum?
12. Is there anything you’d like me to talk to your Step Dad or Step Mum about that you don’t like them doing?
13. What is something we do as a family now that you really enjoy?
14. If we were all to plan a holiday together, you, me, your Mum/Dad or Step Dad/Mum and your step sister where would you like to go some day?
15. Is it ever ok to lie?
16. Does it matter if you know you’ve done the wrong thing but no one was watching?
17. What could our family do that would make the world a better place?
18. How would you change the world if you could?
19. Who is or was your favourite teacher? Why?
20. Do you think there is a difference between being smart and being wise?
21. What special thing or trick do you know that you could teach me?
22. Do you think there is a difference between rich kids and poor kids at your school? What?
23. What is the best way for me to help you when you feel grumpy?
24. Do you like hugs? Do I give you enough hugs? Are there times you wish I didn’t hug you?
25. What are the different kinds of courage? How do you define bravery?
26. What would you do if you were in a car and the driver had been drinking or smoking marijuana?
27. What if the driver was a grown-up, like your friend’s parent?
28. Have you ever thought that I drank too much? Acted differently when I drank alcohol?
29. What would you do if you were at a party and someone passed out from drinking alcohol?
30. Who is your best friend and why?
31. What do you think makes a person popular? Are wealthier kids more popular? Kids who mature faster?
32. Are you popular? Why or why not? Would you like to be?
33. Do you know anyone who’s gay? Does anyone treat them differently? What do you think about that?
34. Why do you think people get divorced? How do you think it affects the kids?
35. What do you think “going out with someone” means? Do you actually go anywhere?
36. When do you think kids are old enough to have sex? Do you hear about people having sex in your grade? (age appropriate question)
37. Do you think people in magazines or on TV is how you would like to look? Do you think that’s how you should look?
38. What are the most important qualities you want in a boyfriend or girlfriend?
39. What is the hardest thing about being a boy or a girl do you think?
40. Can you name three things that you really like about yourself that have nothing to do with what you look like?
41. When do you feel the most proud of who you are?
42. Do you believe it God? What does that mean to you?
43. What do you think happens after someone dies?
44. Do you know anyone who is Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or any other religion? Does it affect your relationship with them?
Written and collated by Carla Morris from our School Mum Team
