How I Got Miss 10 To Drop The Attitude

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Having 2 daughters both in their tween years can have its moments.  I have heard a story or two from my own mum about how challenging my sister and I were in our teens and those were the years they found the hardest.

I can definitely say when I look at Miss 10 those younger years have slipped away never to return.  Miss 8 still has her moments of blissful childlike joy and fun but Miss 10 is full blown tween. Having a 3 year old around makes it so much more obvious because you can see the differences.

One of the things that is rearing its head on a regular basis these days is the tween attitude. I will be the first to admit that I get caught up in it too and can find myself giving her attitude right back. Probably not the best strategy to use if I want to reduce the level of attitude in the household.  The reality is as a parent that we have to lead by example and this is not always easy because we are human too.

For over a month now we have been participating in the 8 Week Bupa Family Challenge and something happened the other night which was unexpected that I wanted to share with you.

One of the challenges during the 8 weeks is called Team Talk.  It’s a fun game Bupa put together which you can play at the dinner table or in the car.  You have a deck of cards and each family member takes a turn to answer the question they pull out.

Now let me set the scene for you.  I had a really busy day dealing with a personal issue that was VERY stressful and emotional.  By the time the kids got home from school I was exhausted and unable to give them much of me.

I managed to get dinner on the table by around 6:45pm which was 45 minutes later than usual.  Mr 3 was tired, Miss 8 was fidgety and Miss 10 was full of attitude and emotions.  She had left something in her school uniform pocket that went into the wash and got ruined and she was angry at me for washing it.  I in return got angry back at her and was yelling about taking responsibility for your own things etc etc.

We were all sitting around the dinner table and I felt terrible.  I knew that in a way it was kind of my fault.  I had not been in a good place all afternoon and had taken it out on my kids. I didn’t want to sit at the table for the next half an hour with this thick and heavy unpleasantness and I remembered about the team talk cards.

I got up from the table and went and got the pack from my desk. I sat down and said who wants to play a game while we have dinner?  Immediately everyone was interested.

As we were eating I started picking each card and asking each person a question.

I am still a little bit in disbelief about what happened and hubby even said something to me later as well.  All of the kids started to engage the questions and smile and laugh.  Even Mr 3 wanted a turn and was saying some very funny things.  For the next half an hour we just talked and laughed and smiled and it was like the afternoon never happened.  It was a small moment of our day for our family but I know that those little moments matter.

It was such a simple thing to do but it transformed our family into a loving and connected place so quickly with fresh conversations we hadn’t had before.  There was no attitude in sight from any of us, including Miss 10 which was a miracle in itself.  She even gave me a big hug when she went to bed that night with a big smile on her face.

If you haven’t had a chance to check out the 8 Week Bupa Family Challenge I really encourage you to check it out.  It’s free, anyone can do it and there are some really great ideas.  You can check it out here …

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